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Christian Bale Plays a Very Convincing Mitt Romney

In Humor,Movies on August 8, 2012 by My Crushed Soul Tagged: , , , , ,

So I’d like to start this article off with a spoiler alert.  You three people that have yet to see The Dark Knight Rises are welcome.

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Anyway, I saw the third Batman, and I think that movie finally puts some real balance on that left leaning Hollywood environment everyone complains about. 

Basically, I’m pretty sure this is how the movie was meant to be interpreted.  Mega rich man Mitt Romney (Bruce Wayne, in the movie), takes on the Occupy Wall Street group, headed by Bane, and anonymous figurehead of that group called Bane to represent the members brought down to the 99% by being fired during Mitt Romney’s days as CEO of the Bain corporation.

Mitt Romney’s original persona (Bruce Wayne) is a philanthropist who donates regularly to charity and works on green energy sources (as I now am 99% sure that Gotham City is in Massachusetts).  His liberal side was effective for a while, but now he needs to make a difference against the poor and criminal element, so he adopts an alternate identity as the conservative Batman.  Obviously, he is now huge into defense spending.

Batman fights against the Occupy Wall Street crowd as they flood the street and try and take over the city, terrorizing the rich and causing havoc with the stock exchange.  I feel the bias against this group went a little far with them being a threat to the lives of millions and millions of people, but I can only imagine that the odor that would stem from a protest of that nature would be very devastating.  I do believe that his initial defeat is representative of the 2008 primaries.

I really feel that they capture the full element of Romney’s character.  Not once, even with all the parties he went to, do I remember seeing him smoke, drink alcohol, or enjoy a caffeinated beverage.  He did, however, seem to be carrying on relationships with Miranda Tate and Catwoman at the same time, even if they weren’t all married until the general movie-going audience becomes more accepting of Mitt Romney’s Mormon lifestyle.

There were some ideas in the movie I found hard to believe.

The first of those ideas being that those people had a lot of guns for how little they actually fired them.  Think about when all the cops got loose with handguns and charged the Occupy Wall Street people that all had assault rifles.  Why and how did that turn into a fist fight?

Secondly, after they start ransacking and pillaging everything, I saw a weirdly large number of 100lb attractive women having a lot of fun.  Seems to me that after thousands of criminals are freed from jail into an area with no cops, no laws, and pandemonium everywhere, I would not want to be an attractive small woman readily available.